We are in turbulent waters: there are immense issues at stake, with painful choices, conflicting interests, polarising relationships and unpredictable twists and turns. The end is not in sight.
If you take on a leadership role in such a situation, you know one thing for sure: you will be put to the test. You make choices without time for a thorough diagnosis. You will be faced with opposition, people pull at you and think something of you. Sometimes you take two steps forward and one step back – or even the other way around. You feel stressed, hunted and restless. Chances are that at some point you will be knocked off your pedestal.
How can you stay upright?
The answer to that question lies in three simple words that you say to yourself in the moments that test you:
‘It’s allready right.’
You probably didn’t see that one coming. Because as long as there are problems, you can’t say it’s all right, can you? Then it has to be better! It is precisely the opposite sentence that circles around our heads like an irritating bluebottle:
‘It’s never right.’
That sentence is part of the problem. The nagging feeling that it is never right, no matter what we do, is perhaps the greatest source of unrest. It exhausts us, makes us despondent and undermines our self-confidence.
Then we suffer from the energy of dissatisfaction.
By the phrase ‘it’s allready right’, I don’t mean that you have to wave away the problems. That may be less stressful, but you get the peace of mind from denial. What I do mean is this:
‘It’s all right, because everything I need to relate to the situation is already there. The other person is there, I am there, and what we have built together is there. From there we can go and find what wisdom is.’
Then we draw on the energy of gratitude.
The beauty of the phrase ‘it is already right’ is that you can make it practical in two ways:
- You start every conversation by tapping into a sense of gratitude. Even when you are talking to people who are putting you to the test. You focus on the thought that everything you need to relate to the situation is already there.
- You make time in every conversation to mark what has already been achieved. We tend to spend all our time looking forward, but it is looking back that provides insight into your capacity for change. As a compass for the next steps and to feed the self-confidence needed to take those steps.
Annemarie Mars, december 2021